Friday 27 February 2015

Butt Out






















I am a butt lover. There is nothing like a sexy backside. Call it what you may; arse, butt, bum, booty, rear, tush, derriere, buttock; a hawwt butt is a sight to behold. One can rarely erase such a sight out of one’s mind; be it Jon Bon Jovi’s butt or our very own desi John Abraham’s butt. Be it Jenny on the block; Jennifer Lopes or BeyoncĂ© or Kim Kardashian, the butt has fuelled many fantasies and there is no denying that, that is why the term Bootylicious says it all.

So if you have it insure it and if you don't, start working on it. This article is definitely about kicking arse and kicking ass, sadly it's not about arse licking, spanking and things that a vivid imagination might want to stir up. So don't drift away and stay with me.

Part One - Kick some arse

Every year loads of resolutions are made, like many, I too have made a few promises both to self and others but this year, I don’t want to get richer or thin nor find mister right/wrong, nor stall ageing or make a plan to trot around the globe, this year is about cleaning the closet and making room; a simple plan to make room for myself.

A time comes when there is an uncontrollable rush to get ones butt off the couch and do something; bring in some newness or break a pattern that you maybe stuck in, but overall driven by a dying craving for a different end. This stems from living in a metro, we are slaves to routine and everybody at some point gets suffocated. A point comes when you cannot hear the voice in your head that once egged you on, to try a something new. When one has that feeling of being repulsed by an inability to change, defeated by the same pathetic results or simply stuck in the monotony of everyday; that's the best day of your life.

Deep down we are all roadies and life itself is an endless journey, so static, stagnant, stuck makes us restless. Nobody can be held captive in one place forever, except in ones own mind and that suffering has no match. Like Jack in box, whenever we are pushed too hard, we bounce back harder and stronger. It's not about resolutions, for resolutions are nothing more than the restless Jack/Jill wanting to jump out of the box. It doesn't matter if you make a resolution on New Year’s Eve, birthday, at the start of a new job or relationship, what matters is making that decision, so that the fun can begin.

So if you are stuck in the confines of a place or in the space of your own mind, its time to hit the road. Take up a sport of your choice and kick some butt, starting with your own for the years of self neglect you have put yourself through. Every time you kick your own arse while running or playing a sport, the sexier your butt will get. Life only gives you back what you give to it; love yourself a little bit more and make healthier choices this year.  

Part Two - Kick some ass.


This one is interesting and it’s connected to your arse, this segment is dedicated to all the anal people we cross through life. The space we give toxic people with the hope that they might change/ acclimatize/ adjust or simply grow up as the years go by. We wait for them to cross the ocean for us like we do for them. Wait for them to notice and appreciate the effort we put in with the hope of brightening their day. The sacrifices one makes, forgiveness which is given despite trust being betrayed and other traumas which one goes through daily, yet makes it on time to catch the local train, show up at work, pay the bills and taxes. These people need to be weeded out, for the plant of life to grow bountifully and bear good fruits, leading one to their own happiness and that of others.

The good thing about an ass/mule is that it's stubborn, easily muted in one place for long and irritably loud. Such people are slow to accept correction and stay stubbornly in the same place of degradation for long and is a source of annoyance wherever they go. The sooner one is rid of such people the sooner one can dance in the vacant space they occupied. It's so much better without the braying.

The road is not a lonely place it’s a place where there is space for all, a place that takes one both forward and backward. Choose to let the road take you forward to new places, people and experiences. The good universe is pining to send all things we need to nurture and build ourselves on this journey. Even the toxic people had a reason to come in our lives, they taught us the value of space and the importance of self-respect. Like the Chinese saying goes “ When the student is ready the teacher will arrive”. Life is bursting to bring good things in motion, all we have to do is be open, run along and welcome it.


When I crossed the finish line for a 10 kms run last week, I got a medal to celebrate kicking my arse   (pun intended) and for making the effort to get healthy and back in shape. Similarly, life is waiting to award us with a medal (clutter free, peace of mind) for leaving behind toxic relationships, exploitative people, social parasites; the so called burnt toast at our table. No more choking on the inedible.

This year kick some arse and ass, butt out and create space and pace.

It’s important to know who to catch for a drink with at a bar and who to take home. Lastly, there will always be those cherished few who like light bulbs are always lighting up the path for us, those angels who silently make life worthwhile.

What we are, we are but our choices today will determine the tomorrow coming our way. 

Choose a sport but give games a miss; both playing and being played. Unclutter, travel light.

Start afresh.